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Mary0826

Date Posted:02/01/2019 11:25:06Copy HTML

Thonging can be fun, but twice since I started I have been inappropritely touched about once a year.  This behavior is new, and I thonged alone for many years before with it never happening.  Apparently some men think it is ok for a woman to be touched anywhere just because she is wearing a thong.  I am not talking about times when you initiate some action that goes a tiny bit too far, like permitting suntan lotion to be applied and a finger slips a tiny way under your swim suit.  I am talking about times when someone you don't know, wanders by, you assume they are just checking you out, and the next thing you know, they are feeling your body without your permission.  Once, it was through my swimsuit under water, another time it was fingering me under my swimsuit bottom.  This guy was just hunched down and talking with me about the beach, and the next thing I know, he has half his hand stuffed under the front of my swimsuit.


Was I asking for it?  Some people say the fact I wear tiny thongs and G-strings, and usually go topfree is an indication that I really am a slut and want to engage in this type behavior.


Frank for some reason get's his share of unrequested touching too, but he simply does not seem to mind and lets them do their thing.  I think he actually likes it.  I think part of the reason is that he often steers the conversations over to his penile jewelry and women want to check it out.  He puts up no resistance.  But if anything he encourages this behavior once a person (man or woman) shows some interest.  What seems odd to me is that guys who want to check him out usually meet up with him in the water, not on shore where others might see what is going on.   Scott and Brad seem to never get others to get into their swimsuits -- and they often wear as little or even less than Frank.


So this is not a problem that only one sex, and reasons can be all over the place (although I have never seen a man object when a girl is feeling him up).  


ohiothonger #1

Re:Being Inappropriately Touched

Date Posted:02/02/2019 09:03:49Copy HTML

Inappropriate and unwanted pyhsical contact can mess a person up. I had it happen to me the summer before I went to college. I had a car and went to a river bank I had been to before both alone and with friends. I was wearing sort of loose cut-off shorts (not jeans, and not cut off too tiny.) If anything they were a bit baggy. I usually wore a pair of very small, tight fitting nylon swimsuit/underware under my shorts, and slipped the shorts off when I wanted some sun. Many people, including those who hung out on the river bank had seem me wearing these but I was not alone and other men wore similar underwear/swimwear. Even my parents saw nothing wrong with this fashion since they were marked "swim suit" in their store packaging. One day I went to the river alone, and some guy I didn't know approached me and suggested that he had seen me in my swimsuits, and liked what he saw. He then suggested that I take my shorts off so he could see my swimsuit again. I was nude under my shorts that day, and tried to explain that I was not in the mood to take my shorts off. He kept insisting, calling me a "tease" and insisting that if I didn't do as he said, he would take my shorts off for me. He was not close enough to grab me, and so I ran to my car like an olympic runner and let the gravel fly as I shot out of the parking area at full speed. I left my t-shirt and towel behind. For years I avoided this area like the plague. The guy didn't do anything but threaten me, and that may have been a joke, but I took it seriously. This incident still made a big impact. It was a long time before I would go to a beach or lay out alone, except at home or a friends house. I don't know what I would have done if he had touched me in any way. I might still be in therapy. Mary said this has happened to her more in the last few years. Look at the TV news and politicians, movie stars, and many other men are engaged in inappropriate touching and many get away without any punishment and in some cases even sympathy. Often people say the woman was "asking for it" because of her looks, way she dressed, or by flirting with men. Another theory is that women claim to have been molested by men simply to try to get money or belittle the men. While I don't doubt that this does happen some of the time, I don't think it happens as often as some say it does. In any case, seeing what some people are getting away with, it is no wonder that some people would decide to emulate them and their actions, expecially if they strongly believe that they will not be caught or be punished.
tbck1000 #2

Re:Being Inappropriately Touched

Date Posted:02/02/2019 03:47:28Copy HTML

Obviously, nobody should be considered as “asking for it” because they are wearing minimal swimwear. But realistically, there will always be people who see it that way. Especially for guys who appear to be aroused in their swimsuit. I get lots of comments about inappropriate touching and other behavior. I take it in a positive way most of the time - flirting or whatever. Usually: “take it off” or “show us your ____.” Once in a while, someone makes a remark that crosses the line and I just try to ignore it. 


I have been “felt up” by men and women, but never anything forceful - again I just try to take it in a positive way or ignore it. Interestingly, some women seem to assume I want to be touched. In my case, I actually do welcome some playful touching but it should not be assumed that I do.


One thing I think that really comes into play is the context of the situation. I often meet people on the beach by offering to take their picture together when I see them trying to take a “selfie” or individual photos of each other. This often leads to them asking to take a picture with me, “the guy in the thong.” It’s always been a great ice breaker, sometimes a fourth person is asked to take a photo of me and the first two people... Anyway, it seems that often when someone is getting their photo next to me, they think it’s perfectly OK to put their hand on my ass, or point at my genitals, or even put their hand on my genitals. Once, a woman even gave me a “wedgie” as the photo was taken.


The truth is I actually enjoy it 99% of the time. But it’s amazing that they never ask.

JM_Runs #3

Re:Being Inappropriately Touched

Date Posted:02/02/2019 06:36:43Copy HTML

In general Americans seem to be paranoid about being touched. Europeans and people from most other places generally feel more comfortable with less "personal space" and with more human contact. You can see this in foreign trains or markets. While I agree that we need to teach kids that inappropriate touching is wrong, I think we also need to have more touch and public displays of affection. Total bans on touch mean people grow up without an understanding of what is and is not appropriate, in the way you touch others. Also, when touched and not expecting it they react with fight or flight responses. I notice ohiothongers panic above, when hit on by a guy. Now you know how every girl over 12 feels when a guy hits on her. Learning how to turn down advances, and giving creepy men the look of death, and when to move away, is something most female teens learn early. I am reasonably comfortable with being touched by women, but like most men a little less so when the same touch is from a man. When a touch is unexpected it may make your jump, especially if it is a slap or pinch. But in the end how you react is mostly under your direct control. You can take offence or laugh it off. However if you are not accustomed to being touched you may be panicked and confused. It is easy to say inappropriate touching is always wrong: But then we are not very good at teaching what touch is, and is not, appropriate. Which results in rules like no touching, and generations who don't know how to touch. A good rule of thumb: "Will the person touched feel violated?" This requires thinking about the thoughts and feelings of another person, otherwise known as empathy. Maybe schools should teach emotional intelligence and require exercises in developing empathy. As to how to deal with an inappropriate or unwanted touch: Don't freak out. Just say NO, Don't do that. Sort of the same way we deal with unsolicited phone calls, or attempts to sell us drugs. Say no thanks, please go away and stop bothering me. Once in a while, when on the beach I have had people run up behind me and spank me on the buttocks. More likely to happen during spring break, by someone dared to do it. I don't freak out, but after the initial surprise smile and defuse the situation. It would be so easy to take offence, but that does not help me or the situation. One of the keys to being an adult is controlling one's own reactions, especially to unexpected situations. That includes negative comments, difficult customers, house on fire or other surprises. As a straight guy, I can tell you being touched will not turn you gay, or cause mental trauma unless you make it so in your own mind. If you don't like it, say NO. Most reasonable people will stop and apologize. Most people are reasonable. In addition to saying NO, and/or telling them to go away, it is perfectly reasonable to tell someone why you found their touch inappropriate. However doing so is a conscious decision by you, to further engage with them. Me, I tend to avoid confrontations and try to de-escalate situations, especially if it is a suprise or I feel uncomfortable. For more on controlling your more basic instincts and emotional reactions I suggest an old book called "Dinosaur Brains: Dealing with All Those Impossible People at Work".
wr1944 #4

Re:Being Inappropriately Touched

Date Posted:02/02/2019 07:36:28Copy HTML

I have been touched only once and it felt not threathening at all. I was in my 50s then and I spent an afternoon at the beach during the week. It was in the beginning of the season and even with the sun, the wind was still quite cold. I went to a spot where I could park my motorbike. Then I had to walk about 15 minutes to reach the beach. I knew there were low dunes along the beach for cover. I rolled out my towel behind some low dunes at the edge of the beach. I did not know this was a cruising spot for gay people because the dunes would shield them from view of the beach. I was in a very narrow thong from Beachndance and after an hour a guy came walking by and started a conversation. He was from Spain but working in Holland at the same company where I did my apprenticeship years earlier. He also had the same type of education so we had some subjects to talk about. He told me that he was gay but that he had trouble to find friends. I felt some sympathy for him. He was not offensive at all. Then he made a comment about my thong. I said I had ordered it from the USA. While saying he liked the form and the color, he stroked the bulge. That was for me the limit so I told him I was not gay and he should walk on. And he did. It all went on in a friendly way and I never felt cornered or uneasy. It was just one of those things that might happen when you are near a cruising area. Only later I heard from others about that fact.
ithongit #5

Re:Being Inappropriately Touched

Date Posted:02/03/2019 03:04:13Copy HTML

I can not say I have been touched inappropriately that often, but it is more like once a month that it happens. If I build up a friendship with a person, I usualy see nothing wrong with us sharing innocent or near innocent touches. I do let guys put lotion on me and similar things. I have found that most men simply love having a topfree woman hug them. Still, there have been a few of these indicences where I did feel I was being vilotated. Ohiothonger said he was just starting college, so he must have been young. I don't think it was the swimwear that really got the other man's attention, since ohiothonger said others wore similar things. He didn't say how much or how little the other man was wearing either. What is obvious is that he had gone to the beach to relax, and a man -- potentially gay or at least perceived as being gay made him very uncomfortable. Perhaps he had never had a guy pursue him before, and regardless of how much action he had had with the girls, the situation made him very uncomfortable. Would a different action been better for him? Who knows. He obviously "escaped" withoout physical contact, which seems to be what he wanted at the time. Could additional education of some type helped -- probably. It is obvious that the whole incident bothered him quite a bit if he kept away from the area where it occured. On one of my first trips to the Outer Banks with Randy, there were reports that men were inappropriately touching women they met on the beach. It seems that there was either a gang of these men, or some type of a breakdown in morality which made them feel that women on the beach were there for the handling. We saw the reports on TV where they were warning women to keep covered up, not wear thongs, and not go topfree since this was the type of women they looked for to handle. I can not say what motivated these men, who were described as late teen and twenty somethings in age. After almost a week in the area, we had pretty much decided that the whole thing had been started by someone or group who did not want thongs or topfree women in Nags Head, the area where all the attacks supposedly happened. We were getting ready to head back home, but decided to take in a few gift and beach stores and Randy and Mark decided to take in one more swim in the ocean. When they got back, there was a commotion on the beach, and some guy had a bloody nose, and other injuries which indicated that he had been in a fight. It turns out the fight was started by a woman's boyfriend or husband after this man decided he didn't like the way other men were looking at her. There were no further details that we heard. This reminds me of an incident that occured at least 10 years ago. Two local women who were known to be strippers came to the beach. They marched down from the parking lot on the walks and told everyone they past that they were going to lay out topless. By the time they got to the beach, they had quite a following of mostly men. They then laid their towels out, took their tops off, and laid down. Any time they saw a man looking their way, or any time a man tried to talk to one of them, they would screem at the top of their lungs about being harrased and demanding the offending man leave the area or they would report their guests to the life gurads. Ohiothonger was accused of being a tease, these women certainly were teases. Eventually a park ranger came around and had a long discussion with these women. A little later they left the park. Where I am going is that what one person thinks is inappropriate another will see absolutely nothing wrong with (just looking at a girl in her swimwear in a public place should not be an issue for either party. The girl choose to dress this way on the beach. The guy choose to look at her.) If men were actually going girl to girl as implied on TV, feeling them up, taking their swimsuit tops if untied, etc., then this was certainly inappropriate behavior.
Vega1210 #6

Re:Being Inappropriately Touched

Date Posted:02/08/2019 12:28:15Copy HTML


<p>Thonging can be fun, but twice since I started I have been inappropritely touched about once a year.&nbsp; This behavior is new, and I thonged alone for many years before with it never happening.&nbsp; Apparently some men think it is ok for a woman to be touched anywhere just because she is wearing a thong.&nbsp; I am not talking about times when you initiate some action that goes a tiny bit too far, like permitting suntan lotion to be applied and a finger slips a tiny way under your swim suit.&nbsp; I am talking about times when someone you don't know, wanders by, you assume they are just checking you out, and the next thing you know, they are feeling your body without your permission.&nbsp; Once, it was through my swimsuit under water, another time it was fingering me under my swimsuit bottom.&nbsp; This guy was just hunched down and talking with me about the beach, and the next thing I know, he has half his hand stuffed under the front of my swimsuit.</p><p><br></p><p>Was I asking for it?&nbsp; Some people say the fact I wear tiny thongs and G-strings, and usually go topfree is an indication that I really am a slut and want to engage in this type behavior.</p><p><br></p><p>Frank for some reason get's his share of unrequested touching too, but he simply does not seem to mind and lets them do their thing.&nbsp; I think he actually likes it.&nbsp; I think part of the reason is that he often steers the conversations over to his penile jewelry and women want to check it out.&nbsp; He puts up no resistance.&nbsp; But if anything he encourages this behavior once a person (man or woman) shows some interest.&nbsp; What seems odd to me is that guys who want to check him out usually meet up with him in the water, not on shore where others might see what is going on.&nbsp; &nbsp;Scott and Brad seem to never get others to get into their swimsuits -- and they often wear as little or even less than Frank.</p><p><br></p><p>So this is not a problem that only one sex, and reasons can be all over the place (although I have never seen a man object when a girl is feeling him up).&nbsp;&nbsp;</p><p><br></p>


Mary in your case here for you.  Yes this should not happen at all.  Being felt through your swimsut under the water or fingering you under you swim bottom.


your husband on the other hand "Frank for some reason get's his share of unrequested touching too, but he simply does not seem to mind and lets them do their thing.  I think he actually likes it.  I think part of the reason is that he often steers the conversations over to his penile jewelry and women want to check it out.  He puts up no resistance.  But if anything he encourages this behavior once a person (man or woman) shows some interest."  

I would say he is on the other hand.  you say you think he likes it.  he steers the conversations over to his penile jewelry and the women want to check it out.  I guess it still depends even for him.  They want to check it out.  Do they ask to see and beg him to see?  Do they say let me see and start to move that direction?  if they do and he doesnt say no then i see no harm in this for him.  If they say let me see and he says no and then they grab his junk or pull down his thong then thats different.  

NudeNArizona #7

Re:Being Inappropriately Touched

Date Posted:02/08/2019 02:50:10Copy HTML

I have had it happen to me a few times over the years, one time that comes to mind is when I was deployed to Gabon in Africa. I was staying in a hotel Libreville which is on the coast and got up one morning and went to check out the beach. I was laying on my towel and a group of local girls came walking down the beach. They immediately noticed my thong and came walking over toward me then they started circling around my towel speaking to one another. At first I wasn't sure if they were upset or horny then they started trying to speak to me in French which I didn't understand and by this time I was standing because it felt really uncomfortable having 8-9 girls circling around me alone. Then they started undressing down to their underwear some went topless. Then they grabbed my hand and were asking me to go in the water with them. In the water they did the same surround me thing then in knee deep water a girl from behind started touching my ass and a girl in front grabbed my front and was pulling my thong out looking at my crotch then two other girls pulled my thong all the way down while they all were looking at my dick and the girl who was grabbing at me pulled her panties down and was trying to back onto me, which knowing the AIDS rate in that country freaked me out, I forced my way out of the circle and walked back to my towel leaving the thong in the water and put my shorts on and left as fast as I could
johny_b #8

Re:Being Inappropriately Touched

Date Posted:02/19/2019 06:58:19Copy HTML

what a person has on shouldn't mean they want attention, if i ever get inappropriatly touched, im gonna say something to the person who did it. im usually cautious who i talk to anyway, if i don't know you, i don't talk. i feel bad for anyone its happened to to be honest, id never do it myself, thats for sure.
pikeman #9

Re:Being Inappropriately Touched

Date Posted:03/05/2019 07:11:38Copy HTML

I think any woman who is inappropriately touched ought to call the cops and have the scumbag arrested. I have zero tolerance for sexual predators! That being said, my own personal standards are a lot more liberal, but there's still got to be some social distance unless the circumstances allow familiarity.
MNluvthongs #10

Re:Being Inappropriately Touched

Date Posted:05/13/2019 11:50:53Copy HTML

I think it would be a problem with mostly gay men. There used to be nude beaches in the Midwest region but they have been shut down because of gay men cruising looking to hook up. They apparently think nothing of joining other gay men "having a party" jerking in a circle. Sorry but that is the truth.
DavyJ #11

Re:Being Inappropriately Touched

Date Posted:05/16/2019 11:50:58Copy HTML

As most men have indicated, I have no problem with any woman touching me, but have a big problem with a man doing the same thing.  I don't recall ever having a problem with any man; I have received lots of catcalls and other unwanted verbal attention, but so far, that's it.  The only issue with any women was years ago when a group of college girls approached me and wanted to take my picture with them.  They did ask very nicely first, so of course I said yes.  Two of them did insist on grabbing my ass "for the picture", but we were all joking about everything at that point so I obviously had no objection.  I even managed to respond in kind to the second one, which everybody thought was very funny. So this was obviously consensual and totally different from what many women might experience.  Men and women are not identical here, and most men are not going to object, whereas most women likely would, and for fairly obvious and understandable reasons.

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